Mr Mustache 2022

It’s November and that time of year. Time for the mustache battle royale. 

The Mr. Mustache Contest, created and hosted by the frat Pi Omega Omega, (see FAQ) is a 20+ year old tradition. Its first days were set on the original Blind Pig stage and then it spent years at Mike & Molly’s. Following the closing of M&M’s, the event lay dormant. Until 2021, when the Rose Bowl bossmen and Barney Joyce, president of the frat, gave me permission to resurrect this one of a kind event. It is a theatrical, comedic, improvisational celebration of the greatest component of facial hair, the mustache. Each contestant has 3 weeks to grow their mustache. The mustaches are presented in character and the contest is a beauty pagent of sorts.

To compete, one must register on Sunday, Nov 6th with a CLEAN upper lip. You may do so at the Rose Bowl from 6-9 p.m. OR at the Brass Rail from 9:30 to close. (If you do not live in CU or have extenuating circumstances you may DM me for alternative options. But only if you really, really have to.) 

I competed in 2012. (Yes, women may compete. Again, see FAQ.) My character was Super Mario. My schtick; the plumbing business was a front for organized crime. Princess Buttercup was my best hoe and King Kuppa was a rival pimp trying to steal her. I planned jokes for each round. During the trivia round, someone in the audience with a cap gun shot me onstage and I fell to the ground. The crowd awed until I popped back up citing Mario's 3 lives. For my talent, I tortured someone. Not for real of course, but I brought a woman onstage, announced her as a lady of the night in Kuppas stable, questioned her about Buttercup's whereabouts and when I didn’t receive the information I wanted, I had her offed and carried away by my hired muscle. It was easily the most fun I’ve ever had onstage. 

Of course, one does not have to go to those lengths to compete. But here’s what you gotta do:

Register on Shaving Day, Sunday Nov 6th with a clean upper lip. (Times and places listed above.)

Actual contest is Sunday Nov. 27th at the Rose Bowl. Show starts at 7 and contestants must check in by 6:30.

Be prepared for 3 rounds; introduction, talent and trivia.

Pick a song as your theme for stage entrance.

FAQ

How am I supposed to grow a good mustache in just 3 weeks?

You’re not. Horrible mustaches are where the humor begins.

What about beards, goatees, fake mustaches, mustache enhancements?

A mustache is the only facial hair allowed. If you are a woman or do not identify with a gender, fake mustaches are allowed. Mascara, hair dye, extensions? How dare you? This is a contest of honor and respect and you will treat it as such.

Who judges this competition?

Our judges table is headed by Carol Corning and she is joined by Sarah Boyer, both of who have mustache tenures going way back to the Mike and Molly’s days. Also at the table are Terry Boyer, unofficial mayor of CU and Dawna “Queen of the fucking Rose Bowl” Nelson. All are members of Pi Omega Omega. This year’s guest judge is Judy Davidson, aka A-Rock’s Mom. A-Rock was an ambassador of the Frat, a long time, highly celebrated competitor and winner of the mustache contest. We tragically lost him this past year. Our hearts are heavy knowing he won’t be on the stage this year but we are honored and humbled to have his mother join us.

Who is the Emcee?

The mustache contest is led by the winner from the previous year. Mr Mustache 2021 is Michael Miller (dude had a live chicken onstage last year!) and he will be at the mic hosting this year. Yes, this means if you win the contest, you get to host next year.

What is this frat, Pi Omega Omega?

The frat was born, fittingly, across the street in the kitchen of Courier Cafe in the 1990’s. We are in no way connected to the university. We have no charitable, business or philanthropic endeavors. Our focus is on drinking, gambling and singing. We really enjoy mustaches and chickens. We have over a thousand members world wide, but Champaign Urbana is our home and HQ.

What do I win?

Each contestant is given a gift bag and some free beers. The top three are given prizes. And the most glorious mustache is awarded with the coveted title of Mr. Mustache 2022.

What about attendants?

There is no cover for this event. DJ Tim Williams will be spinning hot tunes before and after the contest for your dancing pleasure. Rose Bowl has $2.25 cans of Hamm’s and $2 watermelon shots to get the party going. RBTV will stream this event on Youtube and Facebook for those not available to attend but still have a deep love for Pi Omega Omega and mustaches.

Talent round? Chickens? What?

For more info and questions, I can be reached at rosemaryleizer@gmail.com or on most social media platforms. Follow Bowl Of Roses on Instagram or Facebook for updates and a look back at mustache contests of the past.

Enjoy the show!